Alltheism

„Snorrebaard, can you please help me?“ Krullestaart calls.

„Sorry, I can’t. Today is a relegious day of rest“

„Wasn’t that yesterday as well?“

„That’s right!“ snorrebaard says.

„And tomorrow?“

„Tomorrow is a Sunday. That’s strictly impossible“

“Well, I would be interested to hear, which religion grands you that many days off,” Snorrebaard says, slightly irritated.

Krullestaart smiles blissfully. “I tell you. Just follow me.”

allthestic altar with gods and sambols of christianity, judaism, buddhism, hinduism and islam. Cartoon

A few moments later, they both stand in front of a home altar. Snorrebaard lights a candle and explains: “Basically, all religions offer the same: Guidelines for life, the hope for immortality and a cause for reflection. Therefor it’s no wonder, that recently religions start to consolidate. After I have been hesitating between Chrislam or Hinjuddhism, I now decided to join Alltheism.

Development of the world religions. Christianity and Islam become chrislam. Judaism, Hinduism and Buddhism becomes Hinjuddism

Krullestaart looks critically at the altar. “Isn’t a lot praying and scarifying involved?”

“A little, yes… but there is so much you get back! Friday, Saturday and Sunday you are not allowed to work. In addition, we celebrate all major holiday off all persuations. This way, we have almost 250 days off every year”, Snorrebaard says.

“So many?” Krullestaart wonders. “Wenn everyone would join Alltheism, the economy would collapse immediately, wouldn’t it?”

“Not at all!” Krullestaart replies. “Just think about how many discussions, conflicts and wars would be avoided, when everyone believes everything! The energy used for fighting each other could be used to do something useful! That way, working 3 out of 7 days is more then enough.”

Krullestaarts eyes start to shine. “Can I become an alltheist as well?

Snorrebaard takes Krullestaart’s tail, dips it into the water with the lotus, and says:

“In the name of Abrem-Sev, A’Tuin, Aakash, Acyutah, Additi, Adimurti, Aditi, Aditya, Adrogena, Aear-Xan, Aerona, Ägir, Agni, Ahuahauquih, Ahuatl, Ahur, Amud, Alaman, Aldones, Alihama, Allah, Alpanu, Amaschida, Amaterasu, Ammavaru, Amor, Ana, Anahiri, Palombatane, Anala, Andelas, Anila, Anubis, Anumati, Anuradha, Ap, Apam, Napat, Aphrodite, Apollon, Apophis, Aranyani, Aravan, Indar Arch, Ardhanari, Ardra, Arduina, Ares, Arianrhod, Arinna, Arjuna-, Artemis, Aruna, Arundhati, Aryaman, Aschammeli, Ashapura, Aslesa, Astalon, Asura, Asvargr, Asvayujau, Aswini, Athene, Atum, Atunis, Aule, das Automobil, Avarra, Ayya, Vaikundar, Ayyanar, Ayyappan, Azrael, Badb, Bagala, Bagalamukhi, Bahuchara Mata, Baith, Balaji, Balarama, Baldur, Balur, Ban-Ath, Banka-Mundi, Baracan, Bastet, Beeralingeswara, Belenus, Belili, Bhadra, Bhadrakali, Bhaga, Bhairava, Bharani, Bharati, Bhavani, Bhishma, Bhumidevi, Bhumiya, Bhutamata, Bhuvaneshvari, Blinder Io, Boron, Bragi, Brahma, Branchala, Brazoragh, Bress, Brigit, Brihaspati, Brihaspati, Buddha, Pallien, Camasotz, Camunda, Ceres, Ceridwen, Cernunnos, Chalchihiutlicue, Chambal, Chamunda, Chamundi, Chandra, Charl, Charyb’Yzz, Chathan, Chemosh, Chhinnamasta, Chicomecoatl, Chislev, Chitragupta, Chnum, Chochocan, Cholen, Culsu, Dagda, Daksha, Dakshayani, Dala, Dalai Lama, Danu, Dattatreya, Demeter, Deva, Devnarayan, Dhanvantari, Dhara, Dharma, Shasta, Dhatri, Dhumavati, Dian, Cecht, Dionysos, Diti, Drais, Draupadi, Drusala, Durga, Dwiannon, Dwyllan, Efferd, Elvis Presley, Eonak, Eorgina, Eoris, Epona, ErLang, Eros, Eru, Erynnien, Este, Ev-Dem, Evanda, Fa, Fash, Fflamyen, Firun, Fjörgynn, Forseti, Freya, Frigga, Gaia, Ganadewa, Ganesha, Ganga, Gangnam, Garuda, Gayatri, Geb, Ghanshyam, Gilean, Goibniu, Gosaena, God, Gravesh, Gror, Guis-wa, Gusainji, Gwydyon, Habbakuk, Hachiman, Hades, Halab, Hantukama, Hanuman, Hanumat, Hari, Hastsezini, Hathor, Hebe, Hedavde, Mahalaxmi, holy Mary, the holy Spirit, Heimdall, Hekate, Helbinor, Helios, Helja, Heng, Henwen, Hephaistos, Hera, Hermes, Hesinde, Hestia, Hidukkel, Hilbantucan, Hilio, Ho-Masubi, Hödr, Horus, Hotoru, Hrishikesh, Huitzilopochtli, Iduna, Indilayappan, Indiri, Indra, Ingerimm, Iquibalam, Irindar, Irnaera, Īśāna, Isanda, Ischkur, Ishap, Ishvara, Isis, Itzpapalotl, Ivas, Ixtantzutuh, Izanagi, Izanami, Jagaddhatri, Jagannath, Jai, Jakchos, Janus, Jasnathji, Jastev, Jastur, Jehovas, Jellama, Jhulelal, Jumadi, Jupiter, Juran, Juru, Jusus Christus, Jwarahareshwarar, Jyotiba, Ka-hooli, Kagutsuchi, Kai, Kalaratri, Kali, Kali, Kama, Kamakshi, Kamalatmika, Kamaluq, Kannaki, Kartikeya, Karuppa, Swami, Kashyapa, Katampane, Kathyayini, Keburchi, Kelthor, Khandoba, Khatushyamji, Kilian, Kirata, Moorti, Kiri-Jolith, Kjull, Koar, Kono-hana, Krishna, Kronos, Kubera, Kuluala, KuTuh, Lakshman, Lakshmi, Lalita, Tripurasundari, Lady Die, Lalitha, Laran, Lashima, Laturadane, Lemeya, Leomi, Lims-Kragma, Lir, Lishadi, Lob, Loki, Lorien, Lorminstra, Los, Lowalane, Lugh, Lulondi, Lumnis, Lunitari, Luukos, Maat, Macha, Macuilxochitl, Madonna, Madurai, Mahal, Mahalasa, Mahavidya, Mahavishnu, Mailam, Majere, Manasa, Mandos, Manikanta, Manitou, Mannanan, Manwe, Mariamman, Mariamman, Markandeya, Marlu, Mars, Maruts, Matangi, Matrikas, Meenakshi, Meenush, Melkor, Merkur, Mhasoba, Mictlantecuhtli, Milianxana, Minerva, Minerva, Mishakal, Mitra, Mohammed, Mohini, Molko, Mookambika, Morgion, Morrigan, Mukesh, Mukyaprana, Mularos, Muneeswaran, Muniandi, Murugan, Muthappan, Muthyalamma, Mother Theresa, Mythar, Naga, Devata, Naga, Raja, Naga, Yakshi, Naina, Devi, Nalar, Nallacchan, Nandi, Nandni, Narada, Narasimha, Narayana, Nataraja, Nathir, Nea, Dea, Nemesis, Nemetona, Nephthys, Neptun, Nessa, Nictac, Nienna, Ninigi-no-mikoto, Nirrith, Nirrta, Njörd, Nokomis, Nookambika, Nothuns, Nuada, NueFeiPai, Nuitari, Nut, Odin, Oengus, Ogma, Ogunu, Okuni-Nushi, Oleani, Ometecuhtli, Ometeotl, Omitsuno, Onan-ka-tith, Ormut, Orome, Orvai, Kurim, Osiris, Oxalaca, PadKu, Pah, Paladin, Parashurama, Parasiva, Parjanya, Parvati, Pashupati, Peleandrin, Pemba, Peraine, Phex, Phoen, Phorkys, Plenydd, Pluto, Poseidon, Praios, Prajapati, Prandur, Prithvi, Ptah, Puchan, Purusha, Pushan, Put, Pwyll, Quetzalcoatl, Radha, Rahja, Raiden, Rama, Ramnathi, Ranganatha, Rascha, Raschtulla, Rastullah, Rathar, Rati, Ratri, Ravi, Rbhus, Re, Renuka, Reorx, Revanta, Rheia, Rikai, Rohini, Nakshatram, Ronan, Rondra, Rosmerta, Rudra, Rudra, Rur, Ruthia, Sabor, Saibaba, Salana, Samaleswari, Santoshi, Satan, Mata, Saranyu, Saraswati, Sargonnas, Sarig, Satara, Sati, Satuaria, Saturn, Savitr, Savitri, Savitri, Schauschka, Schicksal, Schu, Selket, Sesha, Seth, Shakti, Shakuru, Shantadurga, Sheru, Shinare, Shiva, Shugh-Lag, Sibi, Sif, Sigrun, Sikanda, Silban, Sirrion, Sita, Skanda, Solinari, die Sonne, Soma, Sreeraman, Steve Jobs, Subrahmanya, Sucellos, Sul, Sung, Surya, Suryatha, Susano, Svaha, Swafnir, Swaminarayan, Tairach, Takami-Musubi, Takhisis, Tara, Tefnut, Tegalgirran, Tejaji, Telipinu, Teschub, Teutates, Tezcatlipoca, Thanaxaca, Thor, Thurion, Tin, Tiralni, Tirupati, Thimmappa, Tith-Onan-Ka, Tlaloc, Tlazolteotl, Tolucan, Tomachca, Tonacatecutli, Tonatiuh, Tonis, Torkin, Toyantzin, Travia, Tripura, Sundari, Trynn, Tsa, TsaiChen, Tsuki-yumi, Tulkas, Turakama, Turan, Tuth, Tvashtri, Tyr, Ugratara, Ulimo, Ullr, Uma, Unkulunkulu, Uranos, Urvashi, Ushas, Ushas, Uzume, V’tull, Vaire, Valli, Vana, Varaha, Varda, Varuna, Vasu, Vayu, Veer, Mhaskoba, Mhaskoba, Veerabhadra, Venkateshwara, Venus, Vettakkoru, Makan, Vidar, Vishnu, Vishvaksena, Vishwakarma, Vithoba, Vivasvat, Vraidos, Vulcan, WenCheng, WeTo, Widar, Wodar-Hospur, Wredelin, WuKung, Wyrd, Xan, Xochipilli, Xochiquetzal, Yaksha, Yakshi, Yama, Yamuna, Yavanna, Yelekan, Yellamma, YenLen, Ylathor, Ymir, Yudhisthira, Zababa, Zamach, Zandru, Zeboim, Zelia, Zeus, Zivilyn, Zornal, Zurgauli and all other Gods, Godesses and their representatives that exist, have existed or will exist, I bless you.”

The Quatschtronauts.

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