Dow Jones Syndrome

In December, the positive buying mood of consumers has driven the financial results of the E-Cheese company to a record height. Within the category “Kitchen-Electronics”, the cheese printers were the most sold products for under the Christmas tree. Also the champagne edition of the vidi-vino pictures was a big commercial success: On New Years Eve the cauliflower-power hosting system was almost crashed. The question is: What will be next?

When Snorrebaard enters the meeting room for the first jour fix in the new year, he has to squeeze himself as the “one-armed consultant” is blocking the entry.

“Krullestaart. What is this device doing here?” he asks.

“Don’t you remember? This machine helps us to determine our strategic course. His last recommendations have proven to be absolutely right!”

Snorrebaard nods approvingly.

“And now,” Krullestaart says, “I want to know how we can continue our success story!” He slips a 500 € bill into a slot and pulls the arm of the device. “Attention!”

If he releases the arm, the machine continues to rattle until three words show up in the middle of the display: “GO, PU, BLICK”

“Go public?” Krullestaart reads out loud, obviously disappointed. “No new toys for my Workshop? No further development of digital delicatessen?”

Snorrebaard however gets sparkling eyes… “Going public! We will sell our shares on the stock market! Why haven’t I thought about that before!? Those who want to be innovative front-runners must invest much more money then they can possibly earn. Issuing shares would enable us to play in a completely different league!”

“That is exactly the problem! Market trends are totally unpredictable. They behave like psychologically disordered patients, that have hysterical attacks or depressions without reason. Wait…”

Krullestaart opens his laptop. In just a few clicks he access his online account and shows the performance of his custody account. “Pure Madness, isn’t it?”

Progression an Symptoms of the Dow Jones Syndrom

Snorrebaard keeps silent. Krullestaart is right: Stocks change values according to psychological effects rather than economical principles. That is the core of the problem. But it may be the core of the solution as well?

„Let’s go to my office“, he says.

Krullestaart takes his Laptop under his arm and curiously follows his friend into room next door.

„Take a seat and relax, please“, Snorrebaard says as he points to a couch near the window.

Krullestaart is puzzled. Still, he lies down.

Snorrebaard wheels his office chair near to the couch and takes a seat as well.

„Now, have a look at your custody account…. what do you think?“

„Oh shit…“

„Snorrebaard leans forward and calmly talks at Krullestaart: „Try to imagine you were a stock market yourself. Since months, you are suffering from the Dow Jones Syndrome and everyone think you are shit. You wouldn’t recover from your depression, would you? Therefore: be positive! Can you think of a positives expression to sheer up you stocks a bit?”

Uncertainly Krullestaart looks at Snorrebaard. “Wow?” he says.

“I can’t hear you?”


“Show your emotions. Let it out!”, Snorrebaard encourages him.


“Very good!”

Snorrebaard cures Krullestaart's Down Jones Syndrome

The curve on Krullestaart’s laptop display goes up unmistakably. The mental barriers for a successful issuance of E-Cheese Shares are resolved.

The Quatschtronauts